A journal entry // 19.2.21; 21:30
I sat there, looking in the mirror and seeing the woman I am becoming. Oh how I have grown, matured and developed. No longer am I the misguided, headstrong, foolish and self-absorbed kidult that I was half a decade ago. When God says in His word that he makes all things new, that he has the power to turn hearts which ever way he wills, he is being dead serious.
God is changing me.
I have different desires, he has given me the confidence and ability to think independently and walk through diverse wildernesses and seasons of solitude with hope. I do not indulge my sinful tendencies and excuse them, I question and correct myself when I depart from the narrow path. I am becoming increasingly aware when I become overwhelmed and submerged in a flood of my emotions. I know when I need to open my mouth to speak his truth over myself prophetically and to those around me.
God is blessing me.
I have heavenly wisdom as a treasured gift, and I am endowed with the beauty of godly character and a gentle spirit. I am skilled in my work, daily growing to become a compassionate, concerned and clever clinician to serve man and glorify God. I am full to overflowing with many good things in this life, God made it this way so that I can be generous to others, sharing acts of kindness, giving gifts with love and spending myself willingly.
God is guiding me.
With each new season of life, I have the knowledge and assurance of the hand of God on my back and the light of his instructions to my front. It is this knowledge that I possess in Christ that empowers me to swim upstream through the storms that he sets before me. When I can’t see, because of my own unwillingness, or because of the thickness of the trial, I trust Abba God to be my eyes. When I tread on new boggy ground I look to Jesus who is my forerunner and paved the way to the kingdom and godly living through his own blood. When I sinfully ache to turn back and go no further like Lot’s wife, I am driven onwards by the Holy Spirit.
God is making life more beautiful and full with each passing day. Not with loads of more things, but through simplicity, gratitude and reflection. I love him. He is merciful. I don’t deserve a single inch of what I have or who I am, but I am clinging to his grace. It is mine, and it is his delight to give all things to me.
I sat there, looking in the mirror and seeing the woman I am becoming. Oh how I have grown, matured and developed. Oh how I must continue to grow, mature and develop.
Joanne Olayinka 